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LawCare News Spring 2012

Volunteering for LawCare
By Mary Jackson, Co-ordinator (Ireland), LawCare

LawCare is in need of more Irish volunteers. Many legal professionals across Ireland are struggling, and one-to-one support from a fellow lawyer can make a tremendous difference. Could you be a LawCare volunteer?

LawCare operates a free and confidential helpline for lawyers, their families and staff. The calls are wide-ranging, from a man who had been expelled from a partnership when his filing cabinet and desk were discovered to be full of empty vodka bottles, to a trainee who had been thrown into the deep end on a difficult matter and, with no support, was wondering whether she could cope and questioning whether the profession was really what she had envisaged it to be. In between are the solicitors struggling to juggle family and work, suffering anxiety attacks after meetings with angry clients, succumbing to depression because they had been relentlessly bullied over many months, and suffering stress arising from the economic downturn.

All our helpline callers are offered immediate support from staff trained in telephone counselling. Then, after dealing with the immediate issue, the caller may be offered a volunteer, a fellow-lawyer, to be available by phone on an ongoing basis for whenever things get tough. They can talk at length about their troubles, have a sounding board as they seek solutions, receive encouragement and support and in many cases have the reassurance of knowing that the person they are speaking to has experienced a similar problem and survived.

Some lawyers find that the crisis which originally led them to call the helpline passes quickly and so they only need very limited volunteer support. Others may need regular calls to give them the encouragement and confidence they lack. Each case is different, and a volunteer making that initial phone call to someone referred to him or her by LawCare never knows quite what will transpire. But what they do know is that they are there to befriend and support and that they can make a tremendous difference to someone going through a difficult time.

If you have experienced (either personally or with family or friends) any of the problems with which LawCare helps (stress, depression, alcohol or drug abuse), if you can see yourself as a volunteer, we would love to hear from you. It’s not time consuming (most volunteers receive about two referrals per year) and you are always free to decline a referral if you prefer. But it is an excellent way to give something back to the profession, and to do something truly worthwhile and rewarding. LawCare just couldn’t do what it does to help suffering lawyers without the selfless service of our volunteers.

If you are interested in learning more about being a volunteer for LawCare, phone +44 1268 771333 or email admin@lawcare.ie. More information is at www.lawcare.ie/volunteers.htm.

www.lawcare.ie/volunteers.htm.

"It Worked for Me"

Some people prefer to seek healing through routes other than drugs, medical intervention or counselling, or to run alternative approaches in tandem with convential treatements. In each issue LawCare News features an article about an alteriatnve therapy options, which it is hoped some readers might find helpful. We invite practitioners to contact LawCare about what their form of alternative therapy can offer, with particular reference to the legal profession, and we will consider including an article about them. However, LawCare will not be recommending or endorsing these treatments or belief systems, and would advise anyone suffering from an illness or physical or mental health issue to contact their GP in the first instance.

Hypnotherapy
by a LawCare Volunteer

I drove into the deserted car park, parked the car, stopped the engine and took a deep breath.
From somewhere, deep down inside me, a seemingly endless series of dreadful, breath-stopping, gut-wrenching sobs welled up and burst out. On and on it went. Just like a little child, I couldn't stop myself. My lungs ached, my sides hurt.

I wasn't in control of myself. And that was the most frightening part.

You see, I have always been in control. Ever since I can remember, I had always known that I had to depend upon myself, no one else was going to do it for me and I had to just get on with it. It was deeply shocking and traumatic to realise that I was no longer a fully functioning, effective and useful person. Others had always depended on me. That was, after all, who I was. In my late 40’s, I was the reliable husband, father, employer and general confidante and adviser to my clients. And now, at a stroke, I couldn't fulfil that role. My insides churned. What was to become of me, my family and my career? All I could see before me was a black hole and I was falling into it.

Something, however, of the old me was still there because despite these horrifying thoughts, I knew I had to do something. I had, in fact, known that something was up before I even got into the car that morning although I hadn't been prepared for the enormity of what had just happened. Obviously, I had, deep down, known that I needed some help as I had brought with me the number for LawCare. I dialled it into the carphone. Through the tears, sobs, hesitations and embarrassment, I managed to tell the lady who answered how I was feeling. She was very supportive, told me that what she had just heard were classic symptoms of depression and suggested that I should go, immediately, to see my doctor. She took my details and said that another lawyer would be in touch.

Being diagnosed, in this way, was something of a relief. Many people had depression. Not that I knew anything about it but I knew that I could go to the doctor, I could tell him how I was feeling and he would explain to me why I was feeling this way and he would fix it. Or so I thought.

I went to the doctor. I told him how I was feeling. He gave me pills and told me to take time off. I was shocked. This wasn't what I had expected. I needed to know why I was feeling this despair and how to get better. A pill wasn't going to tell me. I asked him if I could see someone in mental health and he, somewhat reluctantly, referred me to a psychiatrist. As, however, with all NHS referrals, you have to wait for an appointment. But I couldn't wait. I knew the local psychiatrist as he was a client and so I phoned him. He said, yes, he would be able to see me but there was a waiting list of about 5 to 6 months.

I was shocked, again. I could hardly make the decisions necessary to make a cup of tea so I knew I was incapable of working but, on the other hand, I was self-employed and couldn't afford to take that kind of time off.

The volunteer from LawCare called me and was a great practical help. With her help, I found the strength to make the necessary arrangements for the business. But I still had to get better. Luckily, for me, I had a secret weapon. My wife.

I hadn't told her how I was feeling before it all happened. Mainly because I didn't know how I was feeling. I knew that there was something wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. I had been short tempered and restless but we all get times like that. My mother had died a few months previously but I hadn't really thought about that. I did not really want to think about it. I was over it. It was fine. I was getting on with life.

My wife was frightened too, although she didn't show it at the time. We had a very traditional relationship. I was the only breadwinner. She brought up the children and I brought in the money.

We talked about it. She felt that it was to do with my Mum. She moved into action. She arranged an interview with a bereavement counsellor. I went and it was good to talk. With the amount of crying that I did whenever my mother was mentioned, it certainly clarified to me that she was at the heart of it.

I was, however, dissatisfied because although I felt I was wallowing in self-pity. Lots of people lose their parents but they don't have a breakdown. Why had I had a breakdown? It didn't make sense.

But with the help of my wife, I, gradually, came to the realisation that it was still up to me. I knew people who took sedatives and I didn't want to be like that for the rest of my life. I stopped taking the pills and determined that I was going to find someone to help me. But who?

My wife was wonderful. She started researching and we took a scattergun approach. I was going to try anything and everything. Acupuncture, hot stones, Reiki - you name it, I tried it! This took months. Happily for me, after about five weeks, I managed to get back to work. I wasn't very effective but I was producing income.

I do believe that I must have tried about 20 people before I came across a hypnotherapist. I had no idea what a hypnotherapist was. As far as I was concerned, this stuff was all mumbo-jumbo but, what the hell, I was desperate! I can't say that that particular hypnotherapist was very effective. She wasn't but I got the feeling that this was the therapy that was going to fix me. I persevered with that lady for quite a while but I was having to travel many miles to get to her so I tried to find someone closer. The very first time I met my new therapist, I knew I was going to get better. And the amazing revelation was that it wasn't her that was going to fix me. I was going to fix me but she is going to help me do it.

In my case, age regression therapy brought to the surface of my conscious mind, the deeply held but unconscious childish beliefs that had driven me all my life. These beliefs had revolved around the idea that if I was a good boy and did well my mother would come back and look after me. When my mother was dead and unable to come back, however, these unconscious drivers, no longer make any sense and so my brain couldn't cope and broke down. It all makes perfect sense now but there are some things you don't question. It's just how it is. As Mr Donald Rumsfeld said, there are some things you don't know you don't know.

So, my advice to anyone who doesn't know why they feeling what they are feeling is to go and see a hypnotherapist. All the therapist does it give you the opportunity to look inside that part of your mind that you are unconscious of. That can be a frightening thought. I remember speaking to one person who said that they were never going to do that because there were too many tears. Yes, there may be many tears but you will come out the other side a functioning human being, a much better person, someone much more appreciative of those who love you and much clearer as to your own motivations. It worked for me.

A Message from the Chief Executive

The Cottonwood de Tucson, a behavioural health treatment centre in Arizona, recently commissioned a survey of the attitudes of legal professionals towards treatment for addiction and mental health issues. The survey sought to establish, amongst other things, whether a lawyer’s own responses to treatment hindered recovery.

It is well recognised amongst those treating legal professionals that they are amongst the hardest to deal with because they are trained, from day one of preparing for their career, to excel in exactly those attitudes and approaches which whilst making them successful lawyers, can hinder their effective recovery from mental illness or substance abuse: Rationalisation, Hostility, Diversion, Comparison, Intellectualisation, Blame, Insistence on being in control, etc.

Lawyers are problem solvers, so expect to be able to deal with their own problems, even though logic would dictate that on occasion, this requires an expertise that they do not possess. 70% of those who took part in the survey felt that they could manage their issue on their own, without help, even though the evidence was that they were not doing so. 40% were afraid of the negative impact it could have on their careers if it became known amongst their peers, judges and clients that they had undergone treatment, whether in-house or not. These two attitudes suggest that sufferers tend to be solitary and isolated and afraid of the non-sympathetic attitude of those around them. Certainly one of our helpline callers, a Solicitor, told me that when he had tried to approach his Partners to discuss his mental health issues and his fears for his mental wellbeing and future, they made it quite clear that they did not want to hear what he had to say and that all that they were interested in was that he got his work done and brought in his share of the firm’s income.

80% of those who had undergone treatment reported that they had found it difficult to benefit from it because they felt that they relied on their intellect and were detached from their emotions. They also felt that they related best to treatment professionals who understood their subject thoroughly; could identify the lawyer’s highly developed and sophisticated sense of being right and intellectually superior; understand that hypotheses were tested for validity, not just from bloody-mindedness; and appreciated the huge social and work pressures suffered by many lawyers.

At LawCare we do not claim to have a magic wand we can wave that will make all things right. However, we have all been in practise as lawyers and so we do know what life is like “at the coal face”. When someone rings our helpline, we talk things through with them from a position of knowledge of the pressures that can lead to addiction and mental health issues and everything is discussed in total confidence. We really do appreciate every caller’s need for confidentiality, whatever their age and status. So if you, or someone you know, needs to talk to someone who knows what life in practise is like, do please ring our 365 day a year, free and confidential helpline:-

1800 991801
9am – 7.30 pm weekdays
10am – 4pm weekends / UK Bank Holidays

There is no need to struggle on alone. Help is only a phone call away.

Hilary Tilby

Many thanks to the following for their kind and generous donations to LawCare:
The Blyth Watson Trust
Solicitors Computer Management Systems
West Wales Law Society
Kent Law Society
The Sulby Trust

Surrey Law Society
Donations to LawCare can be made through our website, and are always most welcome.

The latest weapon in the fight against alcoholism is the "sober buddy". For around £400 a day, a recovering addict fresh out of rehab can hire someone to remain with them 24 hours a day for up to six weeks, taking control of the bank cards if necessary. The sober buddy is usually in established recovery themselves and can help teach them to live everyday life without alcohol as well as ensuring they go to all their 12-step meetings.

LawCare News Christmas 2011

Time Management

Stress is now the most common cause of absence from work and almost three-quarters of lawyers calling LawCare complain of intolerable stress levels. A great deal of the stress we feel is as a result of external factors such as a high workload, and there is little we can do to change this. But stress is merely our reaction to the pressures upon us, and we can change ourselves. Good time management can make all the difference to your working life and stress levels.

Many lawyers have the compulsive and perfectionist personality that makes them more prone to stress. The typical type A personality is competitive and driven, loves a challenge and enjoys the feelings of confidence and elation that comes with achieving. The type B personality is mellow and relaxed, approaches tasks methodically and likes to laugh and take time for him / herself. Type B people may not make successful, high-flying lawyers (nor want to), but they are generally more able to cope with pressure and maintain perspective.

Stress can be caused by your own thoughts and beliefs, for example-

I must always be completely competent.
I must be in control of events and people.
I must accept every work matter I am offered.
I must be better than everyone else.

These beliefs, and other unhelpful negative thoughts, should be challenged because they create anxiety and are self-evidently not true.

Managing your time can help alleviate pressure, and the first way to do this is to identify priorities. Vilfredo Pareto said, “When you separate the vital few from the trivial many, you can concentrate your time where the rewards are greatest.” The Pareto Principle states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort. Recognising your 20% can help. For example, are you more productive in the mornings? Do you procrastinate and waste hours replying to e-mails which don’t really need a reply, or at least not right away?

Make a “to-do” list with written and specific goals, and tasks listed in order of importance. You might like to use the following system:

Absolutely must get done today. Top priority.
Best if done today, but not as urgent as A.
Could wait until tomorrow.
Delegate—this could be done by someone else.
Eliminate—this doesn’t need doing at all.

When planning your day, always build in time to think and reflect, time for crisis planning, and lunch and coffee breaks. If possible, lunch somewhere other than your desk to give yourself a stress-busting break in the middle of the day. If you are someone who typically experiences the “post lunch dip” – a period of lethargy after eating – then eat a lighter lunch at the beginning of your lunch hour, and perhaps take an energising walk, or even a power-nap (provided you set an alarm!).

As far as possible, avoid time wasters – colleagues dropping in to chat; waiting for printers to become available, etc. One of the biggest time wasters is meetings, so ensure meeting you attend are necessary, remain in control of the meeting, and have a set finishing time. If you are not in a position to dictate regarding meetings, then make it clear to whoever is running that meeting that you have limited time available. Saying “No”, especially to superiors trying to give you additional work to do, is also a vital skill to learn, and asserting yourself in any way is good practice. For a list of creative ways to say No, ask for LawCare’s information pack on stress and depression or download it from our website.

"It Worked for Me"

Some people prefer to seek healing through routes other than drugs, medical intervention or counselling, or to run alternative approaches in tandem with conventional treatments. In forthcoming editions, LawCare News will feature articles about a number of other therapy options, which it is hoped some readers might find helpful. We invite practitioners to contact LawCare about what their form of alternative therapy can offer, with particular reference to the legal profession, and we will consider including an article about them. However, LawCare will not be recommending or endorsing these treatments or belief systems, and would advise anyone suffering from an illness or physical or mental health issue to contact their GP in the first instance.

Positive Energy

by Lucy Springsteen-Chatfield

Is work just getting you down? Are you drained and exhausted? Why is fatigue a daily experience for millions of legal professionals? Sometimes people become fatigued for a few hours, sometimes for days, months, or years. What might your fatigue be about?

The normal reasons people look for are late nights, working madly, depression, physical illness, interrupted sleep, and demands on your energy from being a business(wo)man, homemaker, parent, etc. There are often invisible emotional topics that can drain your energy faster than anything:

Do you enjoy your job? Does thinking about it drain you or energise you?
Do you often feel negative emotions?
Do you experience indecision and internal conflict (part of you wants to do x while another part wants y)?
Do you feel as if you are banging your head against a brick wall?
Are there negative people around you?
Are you a sensitive person who is affected by negative energies around you?
Are you empathetic and feel obliged to give your energy away?
Is an illness or its treatment leaving you feeling exhausted?
Do you feel "all over the place", "just not like you?"

Simple techniques of energy hygiene can hugely increase energy and vitality.

Here are a few concepts that will aid your understanding of your personal energy:

Everything that exists, including your body, has an energy field, and your thinking affects your energy field. There is an energy system in the human body that profoundly affects mental, emotional, and physical health. Acupuncture and Tai Chi are two well studied systems that promote emotional and physical health by working with the body's energy system. We are affected by other people's energy. It's why you start to feel drained when you are around negative people. It's why you get enthusiastic when you are around enthusiastic people. It's why you go to social, sport, or religious events, concerts, rallies, etc. - the energy of the group makes you feel more alive and excited. Once you know how to clear your energy field and how to use it well, you can enhance all aspects of your physical and mental health.

Here are simple ways to easily recover your energy, vitality and health. Give them a try and with a little practice you will increase your energy and decrease your fatigue.

Connect to the energy field of the Earth
The earth has a massive energy field and all life on earth evolved to work with those energies. With modern living we are often running so many thoughts simultaneously that we can feel frantic activity in or above our heads. We literally disconnect from our bodies and the earth. Good athletes, dancers, racing car drivers, martial artists, gymnasts, and horse riders know how to fully connect to the earth. People refer to this as being "grounded" or "centered". You will recognise the feeling of being solidly in your body as against "not being really here". For you to think clearly, be creative and at your best, it is essential that you feel grounded.

Clearing your energy field
You have surely noticed that at times it doesn't feel good to be around certain people. They unload a bucketful of their emotional energy on you, making you feel tired. You may even start feeling their emotions, as if they were your own. Coworkers, family, and the media also trigger intense stored emotions in you, flooding you with anger, guilt, discouragement or frustration. All of this can blow your fuses leaving you feeling empty, tired, and unclear. It confuses your decision making and sucks the joy out of life.

You probably can't imagine not brushing your teeth or washing yourself on a daily basis. And exactly like your physical body, your energy system gets clogged and grubby, needing to be cleared at least once a day. If you clear your energy when you first wake up, you will feel energised and ready to start the day without reaching for coffee. Clearing before you go to sleep will make it easier to fall asleep and increase the quality of sleep and rejuvenation you receive.

Retrieving your energy
We leave bits of our energy in the places and people we interact with. We also absorb bits of other people's energy. You no doubt recognise the feeling of being "all over the place", having left your energy in other places or with other people, which can also leave you feeling drained.

How do you take on less energy from others?
Clearing energy is the first step but it would be better if you could avoid taking it on in the first place. People tend to absorb energy from one another, especially when they are emotional. You can communicate with people without having to take on their energy.

There are 2 perspectives on this. The first one is to maintain boundaries and the integrity of your energy field without having to resort to a wall between you and them. Image having a rose between you and the other person or the environment you are reacting to, e.g. the media, chemicals, electromagnetic energy. The rose catches the energy and grounds it to the centre of the earth, so there is no energy transfer to you. The second one is to view being impacted by other people's energy as an opportunity, a present, to clear something in your energy that needs addressing. So all you need to do is run your own clearing process when interacting with others.

Having a job that you love
Find a part of your current job that you really love. Having a job you hate drains your energy on a daily basis. Working in a role you really enjoy will energise you.

Here are 3 short energy-clearing processes for you. Practice them and notice your experience and that of others. At the beginning of any energy process sit comfortably and quietly with your feet flat on the floor, arms and legs uncrossed to maximise your energy flow. Then take 2-3 deep breaths and allow your muscles to relax. If you hear, feel, or see things shifting during the process, let it happen. At the end dissolve any images and send them into the earth for recycling into positive energy, or use any other metaphor you like to get rid of them. Then be aware of the sensations in your body. Notice how you feel.

Clearing your energy
Be aware of the sensations in your body Imagine a waste bin that attracts old emotions, limiting beliefs, pictures, old programming, and energies that are not yours out of your energy field. Imagine you can turn the bin over and that the contents just disappear into the ground in an instance. So you now have a completely empty trash bin, ready for the next time you want to let go of anything. You don't need to know consciously what is being released. It is a bit like watching a movie; you don't need to be directing it. Trust your unconscious mind and spirit to choose the right energies to release. Now if you feel blocked at all, imagine those blocks appear to you as bricks and start tossing them in the trash bin and letting them disappear. When you feel you have finished, imagine a shower of sunshine flowing down from above you, washing through your energy field, your whole body, and any excess flowing down into the earth.

Grounding
Imagine yourself as a tree. Your roots go deep into the ground. Nutrients are flowing into you from the earth through some of these roots. At the same time the earth is using other roots to gently pull out of you energies that you have collected that are not yours. Feel free to also let go of all those busy thoughts down into the ground and see how much calmer you feel, when grounded. You can ground the whole room too. When you are in a meeting, think of the whole room being filled with lovely sunshine or golden energy, and that the room has roots from the floor into the centre of the earth. Notice what it feels like in the room now, and how people are more energized and collaborative when the room is grounded.

Retrieving your energy
Close your eyes and imagine a golden ball of energy above your head. Mix with it some amethyst energy and add some miracle energy. Pay attention to the golden ball and allow the ball to retrieve your energy from wherever you may have scattered it in different places and with different people. Imagine the ball is retrieving your energy, you don't need any more conscious thought about what or how is happening. When you feel you have finished, imagine the golden ball cleaning up your energy, charging it up, and beaming only fresh energy back into your body to revitalize you, allowing anyone else's to go down into the ground.

Lucy Springsteen-Chatfield is a Life Coach and NLP Practitioner. www.leadingedgeoflife.com

A Message from the Chief Executive
The Legal Personality – an Asset or a Liability?

A practising American lawyer, who gave up a £150,000 p.a. salary to become an entrepreneur, says his legal training was actually an obstacle, not an asset, in general business. Paul Mandell states that “My legal training made me risk-averse and perfection obsessed—both of which helped in my legal career, but were liabilities in an environment demanding quick decisions and high productivity.” He explains that he required short-term office space, regarding which his potential landlord offered a four-page lease. “I spent literally days on that four-page document, researching D.C. law, correcting typos and spacing and inserting provisions on assignment of the contract and forum selection, to name a few—just as I had been trained to—until the old document was unrecognisable. While the new contract seemed perfect to me, it was totally excessive for a month-to-month agreement. The reality was that I had just wasted tons of time that I could have spent identifying client prospects.”

A study done of the facets of the legal personality identifies them as being perfectionist, over conscientious, driven, competitive, ambitious, unable to delegate, status aware and highly aspirational. All of which also happen to be the attributes of the compulsive personality. So it can easily be seen how exactly those facets of our personality, and those aspects of our training and practise, that make us successful lawyers may actually work against us in our personal lives.

Psychologist Fiona Travis, who is married to a lawyer, wrote a book titled “Should you marry a lawyer?”, in which she quotes some of her patients (also married to lawyers).“After a while, obsessive seriousness gets to be their mindset, even at home. I mean, does every conversation have to carry the weight of the world? I’m sick of being cross examined” and “As a lawyer, she tends to rush to solve the problem. I don’t want her to swoop in and solve the problem right away. I want to be heard and understood and our relationship affirmed.” Travis concludes, “The same traits that spell success in the legal workplace can also interfere with achieving meaningful relationships in the home”.

The same problem arises if a lawyer becomes impaired by mental illness or addiction. Health professionals agree “Laywers are the most difficult profession to treat. From day one in law school they are encouraged to argue. The very skills that make good lawyers make terrible patients”and “In lawyers, elaborate rationalisation and denial are highly developed and entrenched”.

So, my message is this. Hard though it can be, try and remember that there is more to life than work and to leave your professional attributes at the office. Cultivate the gentler, more considerate facets of your personality for your home life. It isn’t easy to change your personality at the end of the day, particularly after years in practise, but it can be done and, at least if you are aware that this can be an issue, it may just help you to see any damage that your high pressure legal approach may be causing before it is too late. If we can help with this process, you only have to ring one of the helplines and ask.We are there to support and assist you.

Hilary Tilby

Noticeboard

A survey by TwoSteps online legal community has revealed that 1 in 8 people have done something they regretted at the office Christmas party, and 70% of them were male. With the party season about to arrive - you have been warned!

Christmas and the New Year are the riskiest times for year for relapse into addiction. LawCare has articles and information about Christmas without alcohol, and Christmas for those with alcoholic friends. For copies look at our website or email admin@lawcare.org.uk.

For those of you who have an iPhone, and who suffer from panic attacks, there is now an app that you can download from iTunes for 69p to help you through such an attack. When you open the app, a series of screens will slowly scroll across, containing simple messages focused on breathing and guiding you through the panic attack/raised anxiety state. Reviews of the app have been very positive and this could be a useful resource for those who suffer from this distressing illness.

Grateful thanks to all those who have made donations to LawCare over the past three months:

The Legal Charities Garden Party
Surrey Law Society (proceeds of quiz)
Gowen & Stevens (one year's swear fees)
A London solicitor who kindly donated £200 but prefers to remain anonymous.

LawCare News Autumn 2011

Alcohol, Drugs and Lawyers - Why are Lawyers at Risk?
By Marian Skeffington M.I.A.C.P., M.I.A.A.A.C., R.Hyp., I.H.A.

Looking at what is required of our lawyers it is little wonder that stress, alcohol and drug problems are common. The legal profession demands a tough exterior where weaknesses are hidden in the increasingly stressful environment of competition, specialisation, complexity, and long hours. Family life can suffer and often drinking is an attempt to cope with all of this.

As an addiction counsellor with over twenty years experience I have found that there is little provision of ‘what works’ in private addiction treatment services. The most often used, traditional, residential 28-day treatment programme can be inconvenient, inaccessible and costly.

Getting alcohol and other drugs out of your life for good takes time and hard work. Science has recently provided some new insights into addiction and it is described well by Harold C. Urshel M.D. in his book, Healing the Addicted Brain, as “a chronic medical illness, a disease of the brain that can and must be treated like other chronic medical illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension and asthma that alter the physiological workings of the body.”

At The Atrium in Dublin we provide a research-based programme, designed to deliver effective, accessible, non-residential treatment for problem-drinking. Including Psychoeducation, Group Therapy, Structured Individual Therapy, a Mindfulness-Based Stress-Reduction Programme and a Family Support Programme run over a ten-week period, the main programme is delivered on two evenings per week with individual sessions, as far as possible, scheduled to fit in with your commitments.

Steven Slate, a recovered addict and founder of TheCleanSlate.org website says “people do drugs, and alcohol because they are pleasurable, and that the best way to overcome addiction is to find other things that make you happy.” This is also the ethos of The Atrium Programme where together we address this issue with work on identifying and sampling pleasurable alternatives to drinking. It is obvious to us that if life does not become happier and more rewarding without drink, it is likely a return to drinking will happen.

www.atriumprogrammes.ie Tel: (353) 086 2735993 atriumprogrammes@gmail.com

Message from the Chief Executive: My inner child?

Psychiatrist Dr Shelley Uram, a Senior Fellow at the Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, USA and Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the Arizona University College of Medicine, attributes our behaviour as adults to how our brains have been “hardwired” by childhood experiences. When born, we have no awareness of ourselves as an individual, i.e. no sense of “I”, as the sense of “I” only starts to develop when we are about 3 months old. It is initially unformed, but gradually takes shape as we mature. At that early age, it is known as the authentic self, because it is absolutely untouched by any life experiences at that point. However, as we get older, so the experiences that we have overlay that authentic self with various learned beliefs, many of which may be inaccurate and give rise to conflict within ourselves.

For example, if a child has a parent who demands, either overtly or covertly, that a child always does what pleases the parent, and if the child fails to deliver withdraws parental approval and love, the child will quickly learn that “I am only loveable if I please those around me all of the time”. This is a false belief because one does not have to please those around you in order for them to love you, but because the child is dependant on the parent for nurturing and survival this is a very strong message that gets embedded into the child’s psyche. It may be an incorrect conclusion to draw from the parent’s behaviour, but it is what has been perceived by the child’s brain and locked deep into that child’s mental make up. The same reaction will, therefore, be elicited by the same circumstances, even in adulthood.

As we move through childhood and into adulthood, so we build more and more layers of learned beliefs into our psyches. These learned beliefs are frequently at odds with the authentic self that is still in our brains, albeit increasingly buried beneath these added layers. This conflict can lead to feelings of negativity which impact adversely on our mental and physical wellbeing. It can also lead to people turning to addictive substances as a mean of dulling the pain of the negative feelings, depression etc. that result from this lack of core peace.

The main problem for lawyers lays in failing to recognise when this inner conflict exists. We are so focused on logic and the factual in our daily professional lives that we frequently are deaf to, and lose sight of, what is actually happening inside our own heads and bodies. Once recognised, such issues can be dealt with by counselling, but the effects of being at war with oneself have to be appreciated by the sufferer first. They will be different for everyone, but if there is negativity and / or addiction in your life, it will pay you to seek help. LawCare can help to point you in the right direction.

Hilary Tilby

Toranfield House
by Mary Jackson

One of my tasks as the LawCare Co-Ordinator for Ireland is to visit treatment centres when I can fit them in around my training seminars. In September, I visited one of the newest centres open in Ireland since last year. Our Chief Executive had met the manager in London and suggested I visit.

Toranfield is set in the Wicklow mountains whose beauty is well-known. It was both a spa and stud in former times but has now re-invented itself as a centre offering detoxification & rehabilitation programmes for clients who need to break free of alcohol abuse, drug dependency, eating difficulties, sex addiction and other addictive or compulsive behaviours.

Some of its attractions include a beautifully presented Zen garden, a vegetable garden with produce featuring on the daily menu, a recreation space and a swimming pool. The usual programme lasts for 28 days with full medical support.

The team there are running their first ever conference at the nearby Powerscourt Ritz Hotel, Enniskerry, 10th-12th November with 25 speakers covering a myriad of topics whose main focus in on behavioural health with a primary focus on addiction and addiction recovery. For more details you can visit the website www.nearconference.com or if you want to know more about Toranfield simply visit www.toranfieldhouse.com.

Sober Holidays
Renovatio is a 19th-century villa set on a hill overlooking Portugal's Algave. It offers five suites, excellent cuisine, a luxurious pool, and a no-alcohol policy. Whether you're an alcoholic in recovery, or just want to get away from the lager-lout-infested Costas, you might like to look at www.soberholidays.ie.

World Recovery Network is a new online social network especially designed for people in recovery from addiction and other illnesses. It is a place where those at any stage in their recovery can come together and exchange experiences, finding peer support from those who share their strength and hope.
www.worldrecoverynetwork.com.