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I'm Being Bullied
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Remind yourself that you are an
intelligent and highly qualified professional and a worthwhile human
being. Socially and wherever possible surround yourself with others who
think and say so. Think about your achievements - even list them on paper
- and allow yourself to feel pride.
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Ask yourself what the bully’s problem is.
Is he or she jealous of your skills, or trying to cover for his own
inadequacies by exercising power over another? Does he even realise that
he is perceived as a bully, or does he believe he simply has a “firm
management style”? The bully is only human.
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If you feel able to do so, tell the bully
how you feel about his or her behaviour, if for no other reason than
making the situation clear. “I believe your constant criticism of my work
is unfounded and it makes me feel disparaged and upset. I know that my
work is fine and would appreciate your not using that tone in future.”
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If there are channels available to you by
which you can complain to someone in authority, then use them. Make
detailed notes of the exact nature of the bullying behaviour and calmly
explain why such behaviour is unacceptable, and how it is detrimental to
your work. If you have confronted the bully (see above) then make it clear
that you have done so to no avail. If you have a suggestion for dealing
with the problem – such as a departmental move – then make it. Make notes
of the conversation and any promises made, and if nothing is done then try
taking your grievance to someone else.
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Are others being bullied too? Have members of staff left in the past
because of the bullying? Get together with them to support each other and
tackle the issue together.
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Consider taking more decisive action.
If you are a solicitor, members of the Dublin Solicitors Bar Association
give free help to other solicitors on many issues including harassment and
employment problems. Call 01 284 8484.
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Contact LawCare. We cannot make the
problem – or the bully – go away, but we can give you information about
safeguarding your mental health, learning to say “No” and coping with
stress. Just talking matters through frequently helps, and if appropriate
we can put you in touch with another lawyer who has experienced such
problems and who will be willing to offer you support. Our freephone
helpline is available 9am – 7.30pm Monday to Friday, and 10am – 4pm at
weekends. The number to call is on the
home page.
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If all else fails, then you may need to
consider voting with your feet and seeking new prospects elsewhere. You
may worry that it will be difficult to find another job, but your own
well-being and mental health have to come first. There are plenty of
channels to help you find alternative employment, and your doctor may well
sign you off as sick due to the stress caused by the bullying for the
entire period of your notice.
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