Redundancy and |
Stress and Depression
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Information on Bullying, Bereavement, Counselling and Debt is also available on our Free Downloads page. We are constantly hearing about stress. Many of us are constantly complaining about it. Some claim that it is the root cause of more illnesses than anything else. Of course, not all stress is bad. "Stress can be the spice of life, the exhilaration of challenge and excitement, the high of living with heavy demands on you. Once you make a friend of stress, the forces which once seemed to be working against you become positive energies that define you, strengthen you and help you express your own brand of creativity and joy" (Leslie Kenton, “Beat Stress”, Vermillion, 1996) But put simply, a stressful circumstance is one with which you cannot cope successfully (or believe you cannot cope) and which results in unwanted physical, mental or emotional reactions. STRESS is your reaction to the levels of pressure upon you.
If you are suffering from stress, even in the earliest stages, it is important to take steps to control it. Stress can have severe consequences.
Mental Illness Stress leads to mental problems, at best the difficulty in thinking clearly which comes with not having a decent night's sleep, at worst severe clinical depression, schizophrenia and paranoia.
Family Problems Of course you have to work to support your family, but do you have to support them quite so much? Your spouse and children have a higher claim to your attention than even the most important client.
Work Problems "If you want something done, ask a busy person." The more you do, the more people will expect of you and the more they will take you for granted. The insular world of the office, where people with little in common spend so much time together, can be an unhealthy one. Petty jealousies, minor irritations and office gossip can be magnified out of proportion unless you spend plenty of time in the real world.
Physical Illness The body can only take so much. If you continue to push yourself - working through the night, eating "on the hoof", keeping yourself awake with coffee - your physical health will suffer. Stress is a major cause of heart disease, and your immune system will be compromised.
Being under constant stress in the workplace increases your risk of dying from heart disease because when stressed the body releases the hormone noradrenaline which increases your blood pressure and your risk factor. When this is combined with smoking and a high blood cholesterol level you will have the three highest risk factors for contracting heart disease. Heart disease is the biggest killer in the UK, killing more people than all the cancers, AIDS, murders and accidents combined.
What are the symptoms of heart disease?
How can I Minimise the Risk?
Important Notice Many people who suffer coronary heart disease look perfectly healthy and are shocked to find out they have heart disease. If you have not exercised for a while, are over 40 or suffer from any of the symptoms of possible heart disease, get a check up with your GP or have a health screen before you start an exercise programme.
Working with a Stressed Person
Remember that:-
People under stress lose their perspective............ aim to keep yours.
People under stress make those around them ill too....... use stress relief techniques, (for mental, physical and emotional well-being), to stop you from getting caught up in the stress.
People under stress cause rows...... don't get sucked in, use assertiveness techniques to cope.
People under stress can be unkind...... remember that you are a person with rights too. Be kind to yourself. If you like and respect yourself you will find it easier to be kind to the stressed person.
People under stress can be cruel........... don't be a martyr. You need to look after yourself, build your own support network, offload, seek counselling if necessary.
People under stress need someone to lead them into relaxation..... be your stress sufferer's 'barometer', suggest helpful routines, if he or she will let you.
People under stress need gentle concern, not criticism...... be willing to offer genuine care and concern.
People under stress can be hard to work with........... You cannot be expected to listen endlessly to moans and groans if the stressed person is not willing to do anything. Don't withdraw your care but recognise you have a right to enjoy work in you own right, get on with living. This will invariably cause the sufferer to reach his or her rock bottom faster and seek help and do something about self help.
People under stress make you tired..... ensure you get your own space, enough sleep and rest.
People under stress dwell in the past, blame others and feel pessimistic about the future… so keep the person focusing on today, live one day at a time; a better day today will make tomorrow easier to handle; take life in bite-sized chunks. I can do for an hour what I could not hope to do for a lifetime!
YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE OTHER PERSON BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR REACTION TO THEIR BEHAVIOUR. BELIEVE THINGS CAN CHANGE AND THEY WILL CHANGE.
Where is your Stress Coming From?
An important first stage in dealing with stress is to identify its source. Once this is done, you can begin to plan a strategy to tackle it.
Career DevelopmentJob insecurity, poor pay, lack of status, uncertainty about future
Job Content and satisfactionToo much or too little work, impossible targets, lack of required expertise, lack of variety, pointlessness
Colleagues Unsupportive or untrustworthy colleagues, no friends among colleagues
Work Schedule Inflexible, long or antisocial hours, long or difficult commute
Firms /Chambers Culture Lack of support or supervision, poor communication, financial problems, claims pending
Money Excessive debts, living from paycheque to paycheque, constantly dipping into savings
Illness Health fears, exhaustion, problems overcoming minor ailments
Time Management Growing “to do” list, full diary, impatience when waiting
Spouse/Partner Frequent arguments, unfair sharing of chores, little time alone together.
Family Small children/teenagers at home, responsibility for family decisions, elderly parents to care for, abuse in past, remarriage resulting in “blended family”.
House Unsatisfactory living accommodation, recent or impending house move, too little space, growing list of chores
Social Life Too many / too few social commitments, few hobbies or interests outside work, feeling guilty at neglecting friends
Some Suggestions for Coping with Stress
This page contains some general tips for dealing with stress, both at home and at work. The following pages suggest other methods which may prove helpful.
Home
Work
(Courtesy of Coach Dianna Keel)
Many people have difficulty saying “no,” and boundary invaders take full advantage of this difficulty. If a request or a question makes you feel uncomfortable, it is probably an attempt to invade your boundaries, even if the other person is not fully aware that this is what s/he is doing. If a straight-out “NO” is too difficult for you, try some of the following alternatives. (But also practice saying a plain NO. It strengthens your boundaries.)
Never ever say “maybe”. Maybe is only a way of postponing a decision. When you know you want to say no, say no. Otherwise you’re not playing fair with yourself – or others. And saying “maybe next time” makes it harder and harder to say no the next time. Don’t fall into this trap.
Remember – whatever you say “yes”
to means you are saying “no” to something else. Make sure you that what you
say “yes” to represents your priorities or you will find you are living a
frustrated and unrewarding life.
Stress Management - A Meditation Exercise
1. Body Awareness
2. Breathing
3. Listening
4. Be Still
You have been sitting at your desk for hours on end and suddenly you are hit by the umpteenth headache this week. You put the blame on your desk, on your computer, on the position of the window or the height of your chair, but all too often the real cause is stress which causes tension across your shoulders and back and thence to your neck and head. Stress can also affect your arms, hands, wrists and back with tightening of the muscles. There are plenty of very short exercises which can help to relax you and here are a few.
The most important point is not to hold any position for very long. Pain is NOT gain in this area. Just hold the position to a point where you start to feel the tension, then take ten deep breaths and relax.
1. Back and Shoulder. Stand facing the wall and place your hands on the wall shoulder width apart. Your toes should point forward and your knees should be slightly bent. Lean forward, lowering your head between your arms until you can feel the stretch across your upper back, shoulders, neck and arms.
2. Mid back Stretch Sit up straight and lace your fingers behind your head, keeping your elbows at ear level. Then pull your shoulder blades towards each other.
3. Lower Back Stretch Pain or discomfort in the lower back is very common among those of us who sit for long periods at a desk. Sit up straight in your chair. With both hands grab your left leg just under the knee. Keep your right foot flat on the floor. With your left leg bent, slowly pull that leg towards your chest. Then do the same with the other leg.
4. Hand Stretch To release the tension in your hands, stand and hold your left arm straight in front of you, putting your left hand up as though you were a policeman stopping the traffic. Then put the palm of your right hand against the tips of your left fingers and gently pull your left hand back towards your forearm. Do this until you feel tension across your fingers and the underside of your wrist. Hold this position for ten deep breaths and then change hands.
5. Facial Stretch Have you ever noticed how your face becomes taught with concentration? There is a very simple exercise to relieve this but it is suggested that you do this in complete privacy! Raise your eyebrows and open your eyes as wide as you can. Open your mouth as if to yawn and stick your tongue out as far as possible. Like all these exercises, hold for ten deep breaths and then relax.
Beat Stress through Diet and Exercise
“Work Hard – Play Hard” goes the saying. If you work long hours in a stressful environment, then it may well be tempting to “eat drink and be merry” until the small hours, but in reality your body will not be able to take such mental and physical abuse for long.
If you are under stress in your professional life, it is far more important to be sure that you look after your health. Following a healthy diet and taking regular exercise will increase your general well-being, reduce your perception of stress and ensure that you are in peak condition to take on the tasks which fall to you. Exercise even releases endorphins which make you feel good!
Five Easy Diet and Exercise Tips
Eat five portions of fruit and vegetables each day. It’s not difficult – a glass of orange juice with your breakfast, salad in your sandwiches and a banana with your lunch, carrots with your dinner and apple crumble for desert.
Drink two litres of fluid each day. Sorry – tea, coffee and alcohol don’t count, as the chemicals in them have a diuretic effect. (In fact, if you are feeling stressed it’s best to avoid coffee and alcohol altogether). Try keeping a jug of chilled water to hand and use it to make fruit squashes. Aim to drink the whole jugful each day. Have a drink if you feel hungry (you may actually be thirsty) and drink water or squash with each meal.
Just a little of what you fancy… Healthy eating doesn’t mean you have to give up those treats altogether, but keep them as treats – just two or three times a week, or as a special reward for a job well done. And the food you love can still be healthy. Why not grill, bake, steam, poach or microwave your food instead of frying it? Or choose low fat versions – chances are you won’t notice the difference.
Find an exercise you enjoy The keys to keeping up an exercise regime are enjoying it, and building it into your routine. Try different forms of exercise until you find one you really like doing – you may hate working out at the gym, but really enjoy swimming. Try to do 20 minutes exercise three times a week – so book into the pool, gym or class in advance.
Lead an active life Park further from the office and walk in briskly, take the stairs instead of the lift, play with your children. Any activity which makes you a little out of breath counts as exercise and is toning and strengthening your body, and burning fat.
There is so much to do... and not enough time! Struggling to keep up leaves you stressed and depressed. Try these tips for making minutes count.
Are You Becoming an
Adrenaline Addict?
We all
need a certain amount of adrenaline in order to get out of bed and
face the day ... But too much of anything can become addictive and
unhealthy. If you're wondering if you, or someone you love, has become
an "adrenaline junkie", this list can assist in taking a first step
toward being liberated from this self-imposed trap!
I
often feel guilty if I take time off from work and/or feel "out of
touch" if away from work for several hours.
I
often procrastinate and put things off until the last moment in
order to motivate myself.
I
often eat meals quickly, "on the run", or while working or driving.
I
frequently take time away from family or friends in order to get
work done or attend meetings.
I
believe I truly "work best under pressure".
I
don't usually take time out for daily meditation, relaxation or
recreation; and frequently "blame others" for my own lack of time
reserves.
Solving problems gives me a sense of personal importance, meaning
and/or purpose.
I
maintain the hope that someday I'll be able to do the things I truly
desire.
I
hate standing in queues or waiting for someone ahead of me to write
out a cheque and get it approved.
I
often arrive late to scheduled meetings and events because of my
busy schedule.
"Copyright Coach U, Inc.
1992 www.coachu.com.
Reprinted by permission."
The
Adrenaline Lifestyle
ADRENALINE IS
A source of
energy: Humans will
go to any length to get the quickest, easiest source of energy.
Adrenaline produces energy; not the most healthful, but is
continually available.
Personal
friction: Humans
succumb to this drug instead of letting their hearts decide.
Medication:
Adrenaline rushes to help to a person to "blast thorough"
difficult times. Problem is, the adrenaline junkie creates
crises just for the rush. When a person is "on" adrenaline, they
have a respite from pain and feelings are covered up.
A nasty habit
that creates a lifestyle: To get the rush, humans do
soul-damaging things: careers, greed, getting ahead, winning,
keeping self in survival in order to have something to win at
etc.
A toxin that
keeps healthy people away:
Those who are "over" adrenaline or are not
adrenaline-based usually won't develop close relationships with
adrenaline addicts; it is too upsetting and painful. So the
addict is surrounded by those with broken wings, co-dependents
or other addicts.
What others will say or think about
the adrenaline addict.
How can his spouse
take it?
I know he listened
to what I said, but I don't think he heard me.
You can count on
Aoife to be late; that's just her.
Jerry is always so
busy. What is he always doing?
Why does Michael
put himself through all that stress? I think he likes it or
something.
He always said he
works best under pressure, but he's including us, too.
Adrenaline
Addiction is a recoverable condition.
ADAs can
recover from adrenaline addiction, usually by simply changing
select behaviours.
ADAs identify
their personal 20 Triggers which start the rush and eliminate
the triggers.
ADAs will
go through a withdrawal period (see The Recovery Process below)
of between
6-12
months.
ADAs can recover from
adrenaline addiction, usually by simply changing select
behaviours.
The Recovery Process
Stop the
triggering behaviour.
Be willing to
be very bored, until your new energy source kicks in (3-6
months).
Speak
truthfully and completely to everyone and yourself in order to
let go of the residue and heal.
Hire a coach,
therapist or experienced consultant.
Install a strong
Personal Foundation to keep you well and adrenaline-free.
Overpromising
results, even a little bit
Deliberately
underpromise, despite the other person's reaction or
consequences
Arriving exactly
on time or late
Leave 15 minutes
early for every appointment
Involved in
non-essential projects/activities
Cut out 50% of
all personal and professional projects and goals
Shoulds and have
to's; someone else's agenda
Get rid of all
shoulds, no exceptions
Doing one thing
in order to get another thing
Just do the
latter and see if it works
Having current
unresolved matters in your life
Most of us have
at least 100; get them done
Holding back from
another; being nice, being angry, not owing up to something
you did
Have a
heart-to-heart and be constructively honest
Not asking for
what you need
Be specific and
ask before you need it
Tolerations;
things you're putting up with.
Put up with
nothing; re-educate people
Letting people
walk all over you
Expand your
boundaries
Trying to prove
something by your results
Shift from
results to people and pleasure
Driving faster
than the speed limit
Slow way down;
you do have the time
"Copyright Coach
U, Inc. 1992
www.coachu.com. Reprinted by permission."
Adrenaline Addict Self-Test
YES
NO
I drink
caffeinated coffee or drinks to get or keep going.
I eat sugar to
calm myself down.
I tend to
overpromise and then rush to get it done at the last minute.
I find some way
to sabotage myself or a project, yet usually pull it off.
I tend to take
on more than I really want because I feel I can.
I react
strongly to the unexpected.
I find myself
getting very upset or irritated (whether I show it or not)
when people let me down, miss deadlines or do
less-than-optimal work. Sometimes I take it personally.
I arrive at
work rushed or already "on."
I am grabbed by
surprises and disturbances and then I can't calm down for a
day or more.
I feel an inner
rush or lack of stillness or peace much of the time.
I am clearly
winning at work, yet working very hard.
I'm the kind of
person who tends to find the toughest way to get something
done.
I drive more
than 5 miles over the speed limit, tailgate or criticise
other drivers.
I tend to run
or arrive late, even if it's not my fault.
I find that I
attract more problems and disturbances than I feel I
deserve.
Money is
currently tight and I have been working on getting ahead,
but haven't.
It is difficult
to focus on any one thing for more than 10 minutes at a
time.
I don't give
myself plenty of time during the day for the things that are
likely to come up.
I talk a lot
even after people have stopped listening.
I please people
to the point of feeling compulsive, without regard to
appropriateness or cost.
Scoring: If
you answered yes to 5 or more of these, welcome to the club.
When you're ready,
willing and able, invest in outside counsel to get through this
addiction.
"Copyright Coach
U, Inc. 1992
www.coachu.com. Reprinted by permission."
"People who don't know, who say it's self-indulgence, sound callous, but it's not a callousness born of indifference; I think it's a callousness born of ignorance. That kind of ignorance we've got to get rid of, and little by little I suppose, we will. You say to them, 'It's a pity you don't know. I'm sure that if you knew, I'm sure that if you knew, not only wouldn't you say that, you'd try to help in one way or another.” Mike Wallace, On the Edge of Darkness
Depression is:
Depression is NOT:
What Causes It? This question really has two answers. The physiological cause is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, called neurotransmitters. These help the brain cells to communicate with each other, and any imbalance disrupts the brain's mood- regulating system. Research has linked changes in the levels of particular neurotransmitters to the individual symptoms of depression, including sleep problems, irritability, anxiety, fatigue and feelings of sadness.
In terms of what makes one person susceptible to depression and not another, it is known that it runs in families. Studies of twins and adopted children suggest that susceptibility is genetic rather than environmental. Depression is more likely among those who have suffered stress over a long period, among abuse victims and those who have suffered some major crisis in their lives such as divorce or the breakdown of a relationship, job loss (or even promotion) or the death of a loved one.
What Treats It?
Anti-depressant drugs can be very effective at restoring the chemical
balance in the brain but take a long time to start working - up to
around a month - by which time many patients may have become discouraged
and stopped taking them. If the drug prescribed is ineffective even
after six week there are many other types which should be tried. A
homeopathic remedy, St. John's Wort, also seems to have some beneficial
effect in mild to moderate depression. Counselling is very helpful and
to be recommended and it is vital to address the problem, such a stress,
which caused the illness to develop in the first place.
DID YOU KNOW?
WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR?
HOW CAN I HELP A COLLEAGUE OR EMPLOYEE?
WHERE TO GET HELP
It's common to get "the blues" from time to time. Many people experience such difficulties as job lay-offs, divorce, the death of a loved one or other major losses. Sadness is a normal part of life. But when sadness never returns to gladness, it becomes what mental health authorities call the nation's leading psychological problem: clinical depression. Try this quick quiz to help you distinguish between this illness and the more normal feelings of being "down in the dumps".
1.) Much of the time do you feel:
2.) Much of the time do you:
3.) Lately, have you:
4.) Lately have you:
5.) Lately have you:
6.) Lately have you been thinking about:
If you answer "yes" to more than two of the above questions you may well be depressed. See your GP. as soon as possible as it can be treated. Modern anti depressant drugs are very effective (although they take some weeks to start working) especially when taken in conjunction with regular counselling. With the right help life can be good again, you can come out of this dark abyss. For further confidential help and advice contact LawCare.
Beating Depression with the Three A’s
While your GP should be your first port of call if you are suffering from depression, there are also steps you can take to change your way of thinking which may help in lifting your depression. These can be grouped under three A's as follows:-
Be Aware of your symptoms.
Answer negative thoughts
Act differently
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